Super Powers

As a little girl, I had great adventures as a superhero in my own kingdom. I grew up in a beautiful valley in northern California. The green hills, dotted with oak trees, framed the valley floor. In the spring, gorgeous grape vineyards sprang from the chocolate soil. The carpet of green would soon appear followed by vibrant yellow mustard flowers. The almond trees with their bright pink blossoms stood as sentries. This was my kingdom.

I would climb to the top of the hill on which I lived to marvel at its beauty. I sat on the ground and surveyed the land. I was not only the superhero but the queen as well. After I had thought of how lucky I was to rule over such an enchanted place, I would stand up, run as fast as I could down the steep slope, flap my arms and jump into the air. For just a brief moment I could fly. I felt like Super Man. I would then shoot webs from my wrists and make it the rest of the way home swinging from cherry tree to cherry tree. The “bad guys” had no chance in my kingdom since I had "powers” and could stop them dead in their tracks. After all, I had my webs and my magic lasso. If occasion demanded, I could jump, see and hear like the bionic man and woman.

Call this imagination or perhaps delusion, but as a little girl, I needed strength to overcome great challenges and power beyond my own. I longed for a place that was free from trouble where I could feel peace, comfort and safety. Through great trials and difficulties, I would plead to my Heavenly Father for help and he would grant me portions of his power. I learned that only His power could get me through and assist me in carrying out my mission in life.

At the age of seven months, I was diagnosed as having bi-lateral retinoblastoma. This, being translated, meant that I had cancer in both eyes. My sweet parents prayed for direction from Father and at such news even planned my possible funeral. They were sent to a leading hospital in the area. Here, the recommended course of action was to remove the worst eye and then treat the better eye with radiation. The Spirit prompted them that this was not the right action for me and led them to another hospital. Here I received radiation on both eyes. My life was saved and so was some of my vision. This particular treatment would prove a tremendous blessing in years to come

As an infant, I was anesthetized and put into a large machine. The radiation beams were directed at the dots tattooed on my temples and the cancer was eradicated. This radiation was a blessing in saving my life and some sight but it damaged the bones surrounding my eyes and would cause more problems later in my life. As my head developed my eyes and surrounding bone and tissue did not.

Between the many doctor visits and treatments, I grew up in a loving family environment with great friends. I attended a “normal” school and functioned basically as a “normal” child (although my siblings would disagree). I used a magnifying glass to read and write and, although it took me a lot longer to study and complete my work, did well in school.

I knew I looked different from those around me and couldn’t do all the things that I wanted to because of my sight or doctor’s restrictions. However, somehow, I thought, this would eventually change. In my mind, someday I would see and look like everyone else. My parents were very good to explain things to me a little at a time as I grew older and could make sense of it all. Yet, something didn’t click until one unforgettable day.

My mother and I had traveled the hour and a half trip to the eye clinic. It was just another check-up. But while I sat in my “throne” (the exam chair), it hit me. I don’t know what the doctor and my mother were discussing. In my head I had realized that this was as good as it was going to get. I would never see any better! This was permanent and I would have to live my life with this problem. I was silent through the rest of the exam but when we left the room, I began to sob. I wept out loud and grew scared and angry.

Thoughts of how it wasn’t fair filled my mind. This wasn’t what I wanted to have happen. This was not the way I should have to live my life.

As my storm of emotion rage, my mother sat me down and held me in her arms. The Spirit blessed her with the words to comfort me. She sweetly told me that I had a choice to make. Either I could be angry, bitter and upset, like I was now doing, or I could pray to Heavenly Father and ask him for help. I could tell him how scared I was and allow him to comfort me. She told me that He loved me and would help me get through this.

After a few minutes, I stopped crying, took my mother’s hand and began the long trip home. When we arrived I went to my room to pray. Some time later, I found my mom in the kitchen. I told her that I had prayed and that Jesus had told me He would be with me and help me.

This was one of thousands of times I would need and would receive power and strength to go forward through my difficulties. I learned that Father loved me and wanted my success. This experience seemed to set the tone and direction of my life and deepened my trust in Christ. He gave me power.