The Pulpit revisited

You may recall the spectacle in Sacrament meeting from a few weeks back. To refresh your mind, I’ll site it again:



This past Sunday, James and I were asked to say the prayers in sacrament meeting. I love to pray, but now that I am blind, it gets a bit more difficult than before. We usually sit near the front so that I don’t have a long way to cane while everyone watches me go to the podium. After I have said the prayer in the past, I have a lot of people pat me on the shoulder and tell me, in a sweet little voice, what a wonderful job I do and how brave I am. While I try to be a good sport, it is a bit much for just saying a prayer.
Well, this week we kicked the embarrassment level up a notch. I was all prepared to cane my way up to the stand with a smile on my face. We were positioned on the second row so I wouldn’t have far to go. Now, you may be asking why James doesn’t just walk me up there. If he does then we have Benji crying because he wants to come and Christopher who follows because he doesn’t want to be left alone. So, instead of making it a family affair, I find it just as simple to get myself up to the podium. Well, when the meeting was over, the first counselor conducting, said,” We’ll now close with a closing prayer by Sister Belcher. We’ve asked Ty Porter, one of our deacons, to walk Kris up here.” Just then, I felt someone sit down by me. It was Ty. I swallowed my glee (pride) and took his arm to go to the front. He did pretty well guiding me. That is, he did pretty well up until the point where he said, “Here is the podium” and walked away. So, I took a step toward the audience and there was no podium. He had left me several feet from it. The Bishop thought I was going to fall over the edge of the rostrum and sent both counselors to help save me. They each grabbed an arm and did a kind of shuffle step sideways and not very softly, I might add. “Here’s the podium. No, wait. Yep, there you go.” Was the whispered dialog. By that time I am ready to scream! But, I remained calm and just smiled as I stood there collecting myself enough to pray. Wow! Who knew church could be so entertaining. I knew that everyone was just trying to help (even though I didn’t ask for it). I worked at being gracious and then tried for the next two hours to stop shaking my head in disbelief. Being blind isn’t all it’s cracked up to be no matter what anyone says.
Next time I am asked to pray in sacrament meeting, I’m going to have my little deacon guide dog just bring me a roving microphone! Amen.

Present day…
So, today was a fast and testimony meeting. I really wanted to share my testimony. I did want to show the ward and the bishopric that I was capable of walking on my own, but this was not the motivation for going up to the stand. I was praying for the Spirit to fill up my empty cup. So, right after the counselor finished, I got my cane and made my way to the stand. Another person was at the pulpit so I sat in a chair. When he was done, I stood and walked toward the microphone. Well, the brother leaving the pulpit grabbed my arm and said “Let me help you.” I told him I was fine and kept going. Someone on the stand said loudly, “Stop!” and Benji yelled from the audience, “You’ve gone too far, Mom!” Another person, I think a bishopric member grabbed my arm as well and said, “Over here.” I think I told him to let go of me and turned to go to the pulpit. I hadn’t missed the mark by much and wouldn’t have missed it at all if they had just left me alone. I literally felt like a caged animal. I only wanted to share my testimony and by the time I got there, the Spirit was not with me. I was frazzled and a bit irritated. I took a deep breath and proceeded. I began by saying, “I wanted to come up here, not only to show the bishopric that I could walk on my own but to share my testimony.”

I wrongly assumed that if they had all seen me walk up the stairs alone that they would get that I could make it the rest of the way. I guess that was to much to assume. I finished my testimony and returned by myself to my pew. I am about to give up. I just wish I could see again. It’s times like these that drive it home strongly. But, I still get to be “the blind lady” of my world. The good news is that Benji says I’ll be getting my new eyes in a few years. Until then, can you help me to the stand?

Pups & Poops

Everyone poops. I know this. But do they have to poop on my floor?

For the last 6 weeks I have been the proud mother of 5 new puppies! Well, not the mother exactly, just the lactation specialist. Our Pug and a Yorky friend had “Porkies”. I was hesitant about the whole idea but my husband wanted to breed and sell some designer dogs. I learned that this means you take 2 pure bread dogs of different breeds. They become good friends and their posterity become “designer”. This is the newest thing in Dogland.

“They’ll take care of themselves.” My husband said. “You won’t have to do a thing.” This was his response when I expressed my non excitement about the whole thing. I gave into his puppy dream and some time later our home became a bit more crowded. It also became a bit more fun and frequented by many of the neighborhood children.

When the puppies were born, their mother, Lucy, wanted nothing to do with them. She had no interest in nursing or cleaning them. So, we had to lay her down and hold her there while the puppies nursed. This was my life for 5 weeks. Every few hours I fed the dogs and cleaned them. Now, don’t freak out. I didn’t clean them like a dog would. I’m not that much of a die hard!

As they got older and could walk, I found a new meaning to walking by faith. I found many little treats on my carpet by Braille. It’s pretty sad when you’re scared to walk in your own home for fear of stepping in poo-poo. I have a very strong testimony of
409 and bleach!

Lest you think it was all horrible, I must say that I love those adorable little puppies! They all have such fun personalities. It’s fun to play with them and hold them as they curl up to sleep. They are easier to interact with than the children. They don’t say mean things either. Yesterday, we sold 2 of them. When the first one left, I cried. It was so sad to lose one of the little ones I had raised thus far. We have only 2 left. I am glad and sad to see them leave the nest. Needless to say, I’ll be calling the carpet cleaners ASAP! But it’ll have to wait until I have a nap. I’m exhausted from the whole experience!

Buttons & Prayers

Putting the kids to bed can be exhausting! At the end of the day, I am ready for some quiet time. Let’s face it, I need a time out for at least 12 hours.
The other night, it seemed we’d never get the children to sleep or that they’d stay in their beds. We had family prayer and child #2 wanted to say it. Well, he prayed, “bless Mom to have another baby and help Jesus to be reverent in church.” I don’t know if he saw something I didn’t in church, or if he was trying to remind himself of proper church etiquette. I’ll guarantee the plea for another baby won’t come true though. We read scriptures, tucked them in and said goodnight.
About 10 minutes later, child #1 comes in our room and says, “There’s a button stuck in my nose!” We think he’s just trying to stay awake and don’t really believe him. He explained that he was lying in bed and a button off his bed spread came off and just fell into his nose. The buttons on his bedspread are quite large and don’t tend to fall into noses. If it was in there, it was way up there. It definitely had to have a lot of help being crammed up that far. James got all disgusted with him and couldn’t believe he would cram a large button into a small whole. After all, he is 8 years old, for the love of Pete! After much prying and near surgery via the hands of a florist, the button surfaced. He was right. It was one of his buttons off his bed. If it truly fell in remains to be proven.
So, what outrageous prayers have you heard and what items have “fallen” into your nose or those you know and love?

Labor Day?

I’ve always wondered what exactly Labor Day was really for. When I was young my Dad woke us up early with The Cougar fight song and made us work. When we complained and said that it was a holiday, he’d reply that it was Labor Day and that meant we needed to labor. So we pulled weeds or something just as stimulating. We probably considered forming a labor union against holiday work. Then, is it to celebrate the formation of the first such union?

I personally think it is to acknowledge all those billions of women who put their bodies through heck to keep the human race alive. “Labor” deserves at least one Monday off from work. But, then that doesn’t work either. The children are still home on that day because they don’t have school. When I’m POTUS, I’m going to make children go to school longer than the regular school day. Then that would really give the ones who labored to bring them into the world a break. Maybe I’ll even have a Labor Day Sleep-over Program. While we’re at it, there could be a 15-24 hour period of simulated labor for all males to endure. That would open their eyes, not to mention give them stretch marks and hemorrhoids. For at least a few days they would show gratitude for their wives.

Or, perhaps Labor Day is designed to allow road construction laborers a day off from doing and redoing the same projects. They’ve got to be just as sick of seeing the same drivers day after day as we are to see them. There’s always that darn sign holder who makes more money standing there than most lawyers and doctors. Maybe I should get a job doing that. Do you have to see to hold up the stop sign? I think I could direct traffic just fine.

But, I digress. What are your thoughts on why there is a holiday called Labor Day? Was it created just to have a limit to how long people could wear white? Was it the birthday of the first rail road laborer? Does anyone know, or are you all out pulling weeds?

Q& no A

Ever since my son responded,” Why should I?” when I asked him to do his jobs today, I’ve been pondering life’s mysteries. There are so many questions, with and without answers. There are those annoying ones from the checker at the grocery store,”How are you doing today? Did you find everything OK?” (They don’t really care.) Or from the workers at the In And Out drive through window, “Will you be eating this in your car?” (What’s it to you? Why the heck should I tell you that?) Your server at a restaurant asks, “Did your meal taste alright?” (It was alright but I couldn’t tell what it was.) The workers at the department store ask, if they aren’t busy chatting on the phone, “Can I help you find something?” Or, “Can I call another store to see if they have that item?” (They act all put out if you chance to answer in the affirmative.)

Then there are the questions from the male/female that is interested in you but you don’t return the feelings. “What are you doing Saturday night?” (You want to say, “Are you taking a survey?” But instead you say, “Nothing.”)

Or, “What’s your major?” (It’s pediatric medicine because I think feet are vital. I also have a minor in Zoology because I love animals.)

We look inside ourselves to answer religious questions like: “Who’s on the Lord’s Side? Who?” "Err you left your room this morning, did you think to pray?”; “Where is heaven? Is it very far?”

How about those questions you ask others? “Who left the toilet seat up?”; “Are you crazy?”; "Watch where you’re going, Mr.! What? Are you blind?”;”What the heck do you think you’re doing?” (If you’re a mother) “Is it time for bed yet?” Or, “What do you want now?” “

There are questions we are asked every day. For example: “What’s for dinner?”(My mom always said,”Sauerkraut and weenies”.);”What time is it?” (Time to get a watch!) ; From my 4 year old,”Will you wipe me?” ; From my 8 year old,” Where are my shoes?” (”I haven’t seen them.” )

But what about those deeper questions that we may not fully understand right now like: “What’s love got to do with it?”;” How Deep is Your Love?”;” What do you do in the summer time?”; When it comes to stewed prunes, is three enough? Is four too many?”; "Where’s the beef?”; "How do you solve a problem like Maria?”; "Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?”; “Who let the dogs out?”; “Can I borrow your towel? My car just hit a water buffalo.”

I don’t know if I’ll ever figure any of these things out. I’ll just keep them in the back of my mind until one day the answers come and I wonder, “What was I thinking?”

So, what deep questions lurk in the back of your mind?